romantic definition...

almost 1 week i do not type any word in my blog..
so many thing happen and i not really remember..
until today i decide to place my finger on keyboard and start blog again..
during dinner, i feel the dinner was so cold..
no people speak and no laugh sound..
i do not know why..
some of them seem like hiding something behind their wall..
maybe i could guess what happening..
on the way back to home, one of my friend told me that
watching firework is some kind of romantic event...
she said that everyone will automatically smile when looking at firework...
but my the other friend do not feel the same way..
from this 2 gal, i could feel that different gal has different definition of "romantic" in their mind..
one of them feel that romantic is from a scenario...
like enjoying the firework or having a candle night dinner together..
another one i not sure..
but i think should be romantic in term of words or phrase...
for me..
no matter what, as long as anything done by the one we love..
then it consider romantic..
even buy me cup of water..
then i would be happy and feel romantic..
haha...
today is 31th...
i could not eat baskin robin ice cream because i over spend this month...
i had to wait another 2 month to eat it..
T_T
hope this 2 month will faster pass so i could have it...

cold...

this two days i spend most of my time in room alone..
maybe is due to raining..
i felt so cold whole day and night..
time show 1.08 am and its time for me to go bed again...
but i scare..
scare i would wake up in the mid night...
wake up cause of cold...
shivering...
and the most scary thing for me is..
i do not bring any blanket from my hometown..
T_T

Fake..

firstly i thought that we could express everything in blog..
our happiness and sadness could be written in here..
few days ago my friend told me he worry about something..
but he not dare to write in blog because someone may read and misunderstand...
and now i feel it quite true..
not everything we could write in here..
especially when something we do not want other to know..
haha...
maybe some day i will create a new blog that no one know and write about it..
=)

hope..

be cruel...
and never give any hope if there is not..
the receiver of message will automatically step backward..

2nd anniversary...

feel so tired..
today i'm so happy..
i went to sunway pyramid today..
and i do my first ice skating in my whole life..
^^
during skating i fall down a lot of times and my back side so pain and cold..
i hurt my leg too since the way i skate and stand with the shoe is incorrect..
although very pain..
but i felt its worth..
the first time i step into the ice floor, i can't even stand..
and slowly i could slide my first inch to front and this make me so happy...
haha...
my friend Loke fall down together with me during skating haha...
derrick teaching erica while ccc (my roomate) and ming lee (a new couple) learning together..
after skate till 8 something, other coursemate were gathered and waiting for us for dinner..
oh ya.. forget to mention that today is our class 2nd anniversary in UTAR..
time pass so fast..
we already in final year...
i sure will miss all of them after graduate..
we went to mahanttan fish to celebrate our anniversary..
the food is so nice but expensive..
i think each of us ate almost rm 40...
today i feel so happy and enjoy..
but i wondering how about others...
are they happy as i do??
i hope they do..
the most sad thing for me is...
i could not eat the cheese prawn i want...
T_T
the special of the prawn is the cheese was burnt and the test is nice...
haiz...
nvm..
i will go eat next time with ah loke because he has the sticker that give us discount of 10%...
xD

The Only One..

the night so quiet...
suddenly feel very empty..
i close my eye and look around...
there is no one stand besides me...
but when i look deeper..
there is a dark shadow standing there...
giving me advices and support when i need...
i could not imagine what happen if the shadow disappear...
before it lost...
i hope i could appreciate it..
i would...
please do not give up of me...
thank you my friend...

equilibrium..

sometime i feel the world is fair..
if you expect something from others..
you need to pay them the same price as u expect...
so if you decide to give up me..
i would do the same thing...
vice versa...

how should love??

my friend from hometown call me yesterday..
he told me about his problem in love..
i listen of it before i come to KL during internship..
i had a bit confuse now..
does he really love his gf?
i not sure..
the way he told me, how he love his gf, how he treat her good..
i feel like he actually is not..
vice versa..
i do not feel like his gf love him too..
quite confusing huh..
i wondering how would you treat someone that you love??
how is the best way to love??
=.=
i do not know..

nephews...

During in hometown..
i think a lot of thing to write..
but when reach here..
i do not know what to write..
haha...
before come back, i said good bye to my newphew who is 1 and half years old..
firstly he though i was kidding to him so he wave his hand to me..
but when the time he saw i walk out from house with my bags,
he start to cry..
i heard it and this make me feel like want to stay few more hours to accompany him...
although it is a tough time to take care of him..
but after refresh my mind, its a funny scene and sweet memory..
he not good in talking yet..
but he good in running and explore everything in my house...
he always take everything from my house...
sometime he play with it and sometime throw it.. =.=
tv remote, my sister handphone, my wallet, all where spoil by him..
if i was still same as last time...
i sure scold him and beat him..
but as my age grow...
feel like beat and scold is not a good idea to teach children haha..
pity my second sister's son cause i use to scold him last time..
but of course i love all my nieces and nephews... haha...
when the time my nephew cry..
i not dare to go back into house..
because i know that i may prefer to stay another while if i saw his tears..
haha...
lucky i take some video of him 2 days ago..
now when i miss him i can play it back..
xD

Hope..

How i hope the one she miss is me...
but everything is too late..

Neglecting...

After a busy weekend..i though everything will settle down after we pass up all out assignment..
but the thing go not as smooth as i though...
no matter how i hard i try to help my friends...
but i had neglect some of them..
on saturday one of my coursemate ask me to send him my java source code..
unfortunately i could not finish it and i told him..
"wait.. after i modify i will send u k"..
this word make me become a bad guy..
but its ok...
because i use to be a bad guy..
after i told him that, i went to my another friend (ah loke) house..
i finalize my coding around sunday late evening and that time, ah loke's housemate (my coursemate) came back from hometown..
they do not start any thing yet..
so i was asked to help and teach them how to do...
once again i become a busy guy on that night..
but luckily ah loke done his thing..
so he teach other coursemate too..
i feel that he really learn a lot of java programming...
i had to help 3 to 4 people in the house...
finally i forget to send to the friend that i "promise" to send him on saturday..
on sunday night that friend talk to Derrick...
the words he used all like knife could cut through people's skin..
derrick told me and i immediately send him my coding..
but i do not know he receive or not because the internet line in that house is lagging...
i just drag the file and put in my chat box...
after that i was called by my coursemate because they having problem in doing assigment...
on the next day..
my friend keep repeating the words saying that "i will remember what u did to me!"
firstly i do not know whats that..
after think, i found that he is talking about me..
argh...
this make me sick because he keep repeating the same thing...
its let me feel annoying..
what can i do?
but it's really my fault that forget to send him..
i would like to said sorry to him..
but i know at this moment he sure wont accept...
its ok for me cause i use to be BAD GUY!
but if 1 day..
he make me fed up..
i sure will reply him..
"Yes i send all my answer to whole class and even friends from other course but not send to u!"
since he already take me as a selfish people..
but today i feel better..
because i realise..
there are still some friends who trust me..
=)
the more he feel that i'm selfish..
the better i will treat all my friends around..
especially my roommate who advise me yesterday...
thx cherng... ^^

stupidness and selfishness!!

omg...
after reading my friend's blog (keat)..
now only i realise how sad was him few days ago...
argh...
why i do not realise at all on that moment...
the reason he feel sad is because of the result...
the time after get the result..
i just sitting at my place and continue listening to lectures..
i do not go ask others marks...
this is because of the class get low marks...
...........
argh!!!!
i hate this feeling!!!
all people around look so down...
now think back make me no mood to continue my blog..
forget about that..
bye..

First system~

Become a human being is not that easy...
when u try to ask help from other, they will show u a face that make uncomfortable...
when people ask our help and and we do it late..
they will show us the same face also...
i though we are the one who should do that face...
above statement has nothing related to below statement.. xD

this few days is really a busy day...
time pass so fast...i could not even enjoy my weekend...
i stay at my friend (ah Loke)'s house more than at my house...
this is because all of us need to finish our java assignment..
we discuss for the assignment from morning until night..
(sometime we watch movie too.. hehe...)
there are three people in the house (include another ah loke's house mate Yeung)..
in that house only they two stay in PJ to do their assignment and the rest all back to hometown...
some of our coursemate come join too...
i was so happy this few days although we were busy..
i'am happy is because ah loke and yeung had improve their programming skill..
they make their own first programme..
although ah loke's coding quite messy but his interface is best among all of us..
haha...
yesterday i slept at 5.30 am and now wake up at 10am...
so feel like floating in the air...
need get some rest...
wish all my friends finish their assignment and get good marks for it...
=)

"Her"

"mum.."
i forget when is the last time i speak out this word...
some i really scare..
scare that the memory between me and my mum will lost forever..
so everytime when i free, i will try to recall back the memory...
but...
the memory was getting lesser and lesser...
i hate myself...
i do my memory so bad...
i often forget thing easily...
but there is some memory i could not forget in my mind forever...
i remember when i was in primary school, me wake up late and the bus is coming in 5 minutes..
i had to walk around 5 minutes to reach the place where bus fetch us...
mum was worry that i could not reach in time so try to bring me there...
i saw a woman who do not know how to drive bike carrying a bike..
her size was small and too weak to carry the bike...
but she do not want me to miss the bus so she had to try her best to send me there...
she carry the bike to outside of my house while i wearing my shoe..
the bike is too heavy for her and she accidentally fall down...
she hurt her knee and i can't do anything since i was too small that time...
i try to ask her no need to send me there...
skip a day from school should be no problem...
but she do not let me do so...
her leg was pain...
i feel that my heart was penetrate too...
finally she left the bike in the house and bring me go by bicycle..
and we make it to reach before the bus arrive...
my mum left once my bus reach...
looking she riding the bicycle with her pain leg make me had a feel...
the feel can't be describe...
feel like i want to grow as fast as i could and fetch my mum...
i do not want to let her get hurt anymore...

Happy again~

Time shows 2.47 am...
but i do not know why i could not close my eyes...
after come back from Loke's house, i do my java programming assignment til now...
finally i almost finsih my assignment but there are still something i do not understand about the language...
i worry about my future...
actually i'm not very good in programming...
but i'm abit lucky than other coursemate because i had a chance to force myself learn during internship...
i scare when i go to work next time, there will be no lecturers guide us in programming..
i do not know how to solve a problem that i face in future...
that's why sometime i hope i will never graduate...
xD
oh ya...
just now while i doing my assignment...
i saw my room mate typing something in microsoft words with his laptop...
i felt curious so went beside of him and read what he write..
firstly i though is his blog..
but then i found out is his diary...
=.=
but he do not stop me from reading it... because he write in chinese which i do not know how to read... zzzz
but...
there are some words i do know how to read... hahaha...
from his diary... i found something that very happy...
i found that he is more brave than me..
he take a step that i not dare to take..
and what step he take??
mai kepo please... =P
i really feel happy for him.. is a good news for me because i going to have a room mate that smile always... =)
few weeks ago his face look bitter...
i can't even smile too when look at his face...
and now i feel better... hahaha...
maybe being of too happy is one of reason i am still sitting here write this blog.. hehe..
tommorow i have class at 8am...
and now time shows 2.57...
i better get some sleep now...
nitez to all~

"Friend 2"~

Time shows 1030 night..
I just came back from Loke’s house after doing nothing there for few hours…
Derrick told me that he feel so disappointed with his friend…
I ask him what happen and he starts to tell me about his story…
Two years ago they meet in the class and become friend…
In these two years he tried his best to help his friend in so many kinds of problems…
He fetches him back when no transport…
Buy food for him when he could not go eat…
Accompany him go eat when he alone…
Ask him to join any activities with other friends…
There are few times Derrick joke with his friend ask him to treat him eat…
He said “not much to spend.. Even a Mc Donald I will be satisfy..”
As a result what he said is… and goes home without eat anything…
Few weeks ago…
Derrick felt very tired and hope to get some rest and ask his friend to help him do thing…
His friend does not want to help and ignore derrick’s message that send through messenger…
Finally, Derrick had to finish the work by himself tiredly…
Few days ago..
He brings his friend to have lunch with other friends…
After finish their lunch… He saw his friend go buy another set of meal…
He wondering and ask him why he did that..
Without any reply, he went to a gal’s house where nearby of the food stall they eat..
Derrick realizes that, he bought the food and brings it to a gal…
At the same day, Derrick went to his friend house at night…
He found that his helping the gal doing the thing that ask by Derrick last few weeks…
He feel very disappointed cause the gal did nothing good for him and his friend willing to do anything for her..
While friend ask for help but he just ignore and even scold him back…
Suddenly I feel lucky…
Cause I do not had any close friend like that…
=)
Appreciate those who treat you good around before you meet someone like that…

"Friend"~

Today we only attend one class in the evening…
Besides learn about Java programming, the class make me to realize something too..
I found that different person have different status in different people’s heart…
Few weeks ago, I left my file in my “friends” house…
I ask him to bring to me in the school and he did it…
The next day, once again I left it…
I ask him to do the same thing…
As the result, in the next morning he brings nothing but only his bag…
I ask him why he did not bring my file and he reply…
The file with 3 inch height full of paper is too heavy for him to bring…
Ops…It’s 2 inch I think…
Today, arrive in the class, that “friend” is not in class…
Some of us were wondering where he goes…
When he back to class, my other friend ask him that where he goes and he reply nothing…
After 15 minutes he went out again and come back with a lot of paper…
He distributes all the paper to my course mates and we found that is a survey question…
At the moment I believe that all our course mates have same thinking which is “WOW.. These papers sure belong to gals”…
Hmmm… what do you thinking??
I think this is a normal thing shall performed by friend??
I feel that there are still a lot of things for me to learn to become a “normal” person…

Misunderstand..

Sometimes..
I tried to express my thinking and feeling..
But not everyone would understand what am I trying to express..
Misunderstand often occur between me and others..
Maybe the way I express is not clear enough..
Even the blog I wrote would make others to misunderstand too..
I believe if someone reading what I write sure will think of other things too..
Anyway, I would like to apologize to those who misunderstood about my blog..
I feel so bad cause giving you a hope..

I do not know how often misunderstand occur the normal human life each day..
But I think this words often appear around me..
Talking about misunderstand..
I remember the incident again..
Actually I have 2 roommates..
Around 1 year ago we 3 decide to move into a room..
He promise me that he would not move out because the rent was not cheap..
Everything was fine..
We live harmony in the house until 1 day..
He got a girl friend..
From that day start, its still ok..
I still remember a night.. Its around 1am and one of my roommate back hometown..
I came back from friend house..
As usual I plug in my key into the lock.. I push the door once I turn on the lock..
And I go knock my head on the door..
I found out the door was lock from behind..
That time I already very tired and I really angry this thing would happen to me!!
Then I knock the door till my roommate open the door..
He is sleeping with his gf in my room..
So I decide to go my other friend room sleep after bath..
After few days.. I heard from my course mate that my roommate looking house to move..
I’m so angry and disappointed because he never think of us before he decide..
Some more he promise us will not move no matter what since we had to paid around rm 200 if he move..
I act very cool to him after that and I think he do not know why I do that..
The most angry thing for me is I heard the news he want to move from course mate and he did not plan to tell me till the day he found new place to move...
But.. After time goes.. Especially I came back from industrial training..
I feel myself stupid and childish for treat my friend so cool..
So I would apologize to him and hope he could understand why I suddenly act so cool to him in some period..
I plan to sms him but I did not do that finally…
Sorry..
=)
I can’t afford to lost a friend for only such a tiny things..